Friday, October 9, 2015

In Which.... Eh, I'm Not Going to Spoil It

Dear Ones, I can't swear I'll have a new post on Monday.  I've just had one of those weeks.  Please bear with me and keep checking back and I'll continue to do my absolute best to keep the content coming.

With that said, let's check out Superman #177!

And then I'll keep doing it for every charity until I've created so many diamonds that they become useless!  What a great humanitarian I am!

Oh, eeeesh:

Yes, for the third time, we have the sentient-for-no-reason hunk of Kryptonite.  It's the worst storytelling device I've ever seen, and they just keep doing it.

And then it leads to moments like this:

It's a lot more entertaining if you don't know the backstory.

But then, there's this moment where Jimmy Olsen wore a Superman costume and rode a flying jackass:

So, how annoyed can I really be?  It's Jimmy Olsen wearing a Superman costume riding a flying jackass!  I'm only human, folks.

I'll do my best to see you Monday!

Thursday, October 8, 2015

In Which Adam Reveals He Knows Far Too Much About Reality Television

As you've no doubt noticed, we are pretty much knee-deep in Silver Age weirdness as far as Superman Comics are concerned.  But that's okay with me whenever it involves the Super-Pets!

I had neglected to talk about it the first time, but the creators got greedy and taunted me with a second installment focused on the story of a chunk of Green Kryptonite that is sentient for no reason:

Hey!  Random Anti-Death Ray Usage!  (tm!)  Where were you yesterday when Pete Ross needed you?  

And the rock can apparently read minds.  When I was a kid, this was the kind of comic book story you prayed no one ever caught you reading... the ones that confirmed every negative connotation mainstream society had about comics.

But then you see Superman making reality television appearances, and everything's okay again.  Check it out:

I have high hopes for this reboot of Toddlers and Tiaras.

But wait!  There's more!

Next week on Master Chef...

Is it just me, or does it seem like a super lucrative business making Superman and Supergirl costumes?

Yeah, you can't get away with that sort of thing on America's Next Top Model.  You don't even want to know what secrets are revealed when Superman's gaze goes south of her neckline.

And finally...

Yup!  Shark Tank!  Take that, Kevin O'Leary!

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Boy Meets Girl Comics... Superman Style!

Superman #175 is yet another imaginary story, because it's hard coming up with things for Superman to deal with unless you can just go totally off the rails on a semi-regular basis.  It was actually something of a romance, and we loves ourselves some romance comics here at CMNS!

I can understand Pete's disgust here.  It reminded me of when I was in undergrad and there was a girl who was literally saving herself for Tom Cruise.  This girl had no connections or any kind of prayer that she would ever meet, let alone date Tom Cruise, but she wasn't interested in any of us because we weren't Tom Cruise.  It was actually a good thing that she was this way, because you don't want to date someone who secretly thinks it's only a matter of time before Tom Cruise shows up at her door.

Anyway... let the romance continue:

Actually, Lana, it's only "ironic" in the Alanis Morisette sense of the word.  Which is to say, it isn't ironic at all.  It may be many things, but just like ray-ay-ayn on your wedding day, this situation most certainly is not ironic in the slight....

... well, you don't have to take it that hard.  There is an entire generation of people who were adolescents in the early 90's who still get that wrong.

Moving on...

Yeah, nothing lays the foundation for a successful marriage like "I might as well."  It's your lucky day, Pete Ross!

Green was certainly a popular color back then, wasn't it?

Oh, I'm sorry.  I got distracted there.  Dastardly form, Pete Ross!

I think Pete Ross just took out Lois Lane with a hair dryer.  That's either really impressive for Pete Ross or really sad for Lois Lane.

You know who could really do some damage with a hair dryer?  Bullseye:

That was the classic Daredevil #160.  I highly recommend the issues from that era.


Waitasec... I may have mixed up some panels there.

Eh, it's an imaginary story, so who cares?  Back to the drama! 

Yeah, the less you know about all this, the happier you'll be.

Random Ray Usage! (tm!)

Whoa!  That was Death by Random Ray Usage! (tm!)

I hear that happens with satellite tv reception when it rains.

Friendship by Death by Random Ray Usage! (tm!)

Whoops!  I don't think that last panel was supposed to be there.  Hold on!

THERE we go!  Love always ends in tears, my friends.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Superman Rids Himself of a Superior Hero Competitor... and This Time it Wasn't Captain Marvel

I'm warming up to Supes to a degree, but only because I'm seeing flaws in his character.  Take this really unfortunate lapse from Superman #174:

Okay, it was Superman's idea.  Everyone get that?

Yeah, it doesn't take long for Superman to decide he'd rather have a guy be a menace than be competition for public adoration:

Yeah.  That's pretty much the case, Mxyzptlk.  Superman doesn't like it when he isn't the most awesome guy in the room.

See?  Why is this?  For no other reason than because he's stealing some of the spotlight from Superman.  Mxyzptlk has no ulterior motive or sinister scheme.  He's just doing good things and Superman doesn't like to share the spotlight.  Petty, petty.

And this is the point where I start thinking Mxyzptlk should take over Superman Comics altogether, the way Archie Andrews took over Pep Comics:

See?  That's a lot more fun than:

I love the expression on prepubescent Dennis the Menace's face: Oh.  It's YOU. 

But this is a DC Comics publication, soooooo...

"Magical Mischief"' defined as "good deeds done by someone other than me throughout this story."

And no, Superman didn't arrange that statue.  Bizarro did.  But Superman is quite happy that there's one less hero in Metropolis because it inconvenienced him.

Yeah, even if he didn't cause it, Supes still looks pretty happy about how this turned out.

See?  Metropolis could have had another great hero, but Superman was sure glad that didn't happen.

Not your proudest moment, Supes.

See you tomorrow.