Tuesday, July 28, 2015

In Which We Learn the Value of Registering Trademarks via Guys Who Call Themselves "The Eel"


It's very confusing for me to navigate Lightning Comics, but according to comics.org , this is V2, #6... just in case you found this post so awesome that you had to have a copy of the original.


Yup!  It's the Eel!  The origin was simply that he was born with his ability to breathe (and apparently speak) underwater.  He also was very flexible and super-strong.  He also had the innate ability to construct a lightning pistol.  I'm not sure why that was.  But comics were only ten cents, so....


I'm not sure this is the worst nemesis for Flash Lightning.  I mean, if the Eel's offense is a lightning gun, well...  it's going to be an easy day at the office for Flash Lightning, if you know what I mean.



That's about the long and short of things.  The eel can't really do much other than evade, so it's not really spine-tingling entertainment.


Hmmmm... I don't know that "invincible" isn't overselling things a bit.  Thusly:



But then this happened:


And it actually worked.  Flash said it dang near killed him.  And this this happened:


So, two guys with electric powers have a hard time dealing with guys who have electric powers?  COMICS, my friends!


Well, that's expository.  And rather unnecessary.

But check out who the bad guy was in the very next story:


Yes, in the very next story of that very same issue, the Raven fought a completely unrelated villain called "the Eel."  I'm starting to think the folks at Lightning Comics should have held staff meetings.

Oh, well.  Random Slap! (tm!)


See you tomorrow!

Monday, July 27, 2015

In Which Superman Fights an Alligator. You're Welcome.


Hey!  It's time to see Superman fight an alligator, courtesy of Superman #9!




Yeah, it's basically the same three moves Superman does every time he has to fight some sort of beast, but... Superman fighting an alligator, right?

Check it out:


It'll still be few issues before we are officially introduced to Jimmy Olsen in the comics (he actually first appears in the Superman radio program), but I'm thinking this is the first true sighting of Jimmy.  Many folks think this was Jimmy's first appearance, but unless Jimmy bleached his hair the first time, I'm thinking this is the one.

Random Slap! (tm!)


Even though Clark has to be rolling with it, I'm surprised that guy doesn't have a broken hand.

Here's more reasons not to mess with Metropolis PD:




To review: Officers don't know who is in the car or what the occupants may or may not be guilty of, but the choose to open fire on said vehicle.  For all they knew, the guy had a suspended driver's license.  But that's Metropolis PD, and you don't cross Metropolis PD.


I'm thinking brown was the color for suits back in the day.


We laugh about the disguising power of eyeglasses when it comes to Clark / Superman, but I guess in comics a pair of glasses is practically Spider-Man's mask.

So.... here's something I never thought was a thing:


Really?  I mean, I know they didn't have your cable tv and video games and whatnot, but...

... REALLY?

Tennis and badminton rackets were so prevalent in 1940's society that you could make money re-stringing them?  I admit that's a market I would have missed out on.

See you tomorrow!


Friday, July 24, 2015

In Which We Bid Farewell to Bulletman Comics


The Bulletman comic came to an end after a rather paltry 16 issues.  But before we say goodbye, let us take one last look at tough-talkin' Bulletgirl:


A great morale officer, she also proved herself time and time again in battle:






Oh, Bulletgirl... you were truly a role model for girls of the 1940's.  We shan't forget ye.

Well, we shall... but thanks for the memories.

Let us console ourselves as we leave Bulletman in the chamber.  Let us partake in some Fun with Out of Context Dialogue! (tm!)


Heh.  Awesome.

See you Monday!

Thursday, July 23, 2015

In Which Superman Fights a Giant Housecat


I didn't see much in Superman #7.  Maybe I wasn't in the mood.  But here's a gigantic housecat, courtesy of Superman #8!


YEAH!  GIANT HOUSECAT!


You realize, lady, that cat's vision is designed for detecting motion.  Telling Henry to go faster probably is just going to make him more interested in you.  Don't listen to her, Henry!

Who am I kidding?  If Beloved told me to drive faster, even if I knew it was the worst possible thing to do, I'd still do it. That's marriage, folks.

Anyway, Superman fights it:



I realize that just throwing things over his shoulder is usually the last word on a fight between Superham and whatever creature crosses his path, but cats are pretty well-known for the ability to survive drops that would have been big trouble for other animals.

So somewhere out there in the DC Universe, there is a gigantic cat just waiting for the right time to claw Superman's face down to his eyeballs.  Think about that.

And now, another installment of....

.... Seems fair. (tm!)


.... Seems Fair. (tm!)


I just want to remind you of something:


At this point, Superman made a living in his secret identity as a print journalist.  The man put words together for a living.  And "not one must remain undestroyed" was what he went with there.

Moving on, it's time for a double dose of...

.... Shut up, Lois. (tm!)


.... Shut up, Lois. (tm!)


Lois Lane... annoyed by the inconveniences of the Sixth Amendment.

... Shut up, Lois. (tm!)

See you tomorrow!

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Bulletman Fights Who and.... Eh, Nobody Cares


It's for morbid curiosity at this point, but let's keep on plowing through Bulletman with a look at issue #14!


Wait a minute.  A house full of trick gadgets?  Haven't we seen this on the blog?

Oh yes we have.  But to be fair, this story came first by a couple of years.

Anyhoo, there are some fun house-style things that happen as they make their way through the house.  Thusly:



See?  That's typical Bulletgirl.  She puffs up like she's all Betty Badass and then she gets taken out by the slightest thing.


Yeah, "oh glub" yourself.

Anyway, there are various traps as our intrepid heroes make their way through the house.


Some traps are clearly more deadly than others.  I've heard you can drown in only a few inches of water, but I'm pretty sure the surrounding circumstances have to be a lot different.

You know how I've been asking about the whole "bulletproof" situation?  I think we have an answer:



Okay, so the helmet somehow... and we have no explanation how, is what protects him from bullets.  I'm not sure if this applies to.... I don't know, a missile or something shot at them from an anti-aircraft cannon.  Are there rules to this?  Heck if I know.

Oh, and Bulletman was totally faking there.  The helmet deflected the shot.  He was just being Mr. Sly Boots.

And then we see this:




I'm not a big fan of "knock knock" jokes as a general rule, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't a very good one by anyone's definition.


And yes, this was a couple of years after Abbot and Costello came out with "Who's on First?"  But it's Bulletman Comics, so I'm pretty sure they decided a lawsuit just wasn't worth it.


Oh, do shut up, Bulletgirl.


At this point, I'm wondering if I'm reading a story meant for a six year-old.




You know, I just don't find the word play that baffling and/or upsetting.  I mean, it's torture reading this story, but that's not quite the same thing.


Okay, now we're just repeating events and filling in pages.  Either do something different or let's get this story going.  Or just shoot me.  Anything to put an end to this.


Oh, jeez.  It just got even worse.



Okay, we're finished here.  I'm not doing this any more.  It's just starting to make me angry at comic books in general and life is too short.

So, let's check out the back panel:


You know I loves me some Captain Marvel, but this sounds like the most boring game ever.  Once you get the magic word, the game ends?  That's when things are supposed to start getting good.  I'm prepared to guess why this didn't have the lasting power of Monopoly or Clue.

And check this out!:


I'm not used to seeing the Golden Age Captain Marvel with his eyes open, and it's super creepy that the sole purpose of this product is to stare at you wherever you go.  But if anyone has it and can show me a video of it in action, I would squeal with delight.

See you tomorrow!