Friday, July 3, 2015

Bulletman's Caption Box is the Worst Kind of Superfan


In 1972, we were introduced to a new Spider-Man villain called Hammerhead.  He dressed and talked like a 1920s mobster, but he was more known for having an unbreakable skull:


No, this ish wasn't his first appearance, but it shows you what I mean.

I thought it was a pretty unique idea at the time, but 4 year-old Adam couldn't have possibly known that 30 years earlier, Bulletman fought "The Dome":


At first, I thought he was just a soccer hooligan, but then I saw this:


Yup!  When it comes to Spidey's foe, Hammerhead, we have a case of Recycled Powers! (tm!)

Also in Bulletman #8, we see someone with a familiar name:


... who, of course, easily takes out Bulletgirl, but that's not my point this time:


Yup!  We have the third citing of a "Dr. Destiny"!  Here's a link to when we discussed the other two.

And I'm hoping this isn't a trend, but the caption box is getting a little too involved up there.  And it doesn't stop:


Okay, I really don't need....


Okay, stop.  Just.  Stop.  It's like watching a movie with the commentary enabled.  I don't see the point in that, either.  Yeesh.

See you Monday!

Thursday, July 2, 2015

If You Call Yourself "Mr. Ego," at Least that Shows You Have SOME Self-Awareness...


Bulletman #8 is, I think, the first time he's referred to as "Bulletman, the Flying Detective."  I don't really know that this was necessary, as we all knew by now he could fly and the notion that he's a detective really isn't all that exciting.  I mean, if you weren't sold on the character before, you weren't likely to say, "Oh... he's a detective?  Well, why didn't you say so?"

Anyway, this ish had the first appearance of Mr. Ego, who is one of my faves.  You can tell he's going to be awesome because he merited his own Disembodied Floating Head (tm!):


He starts out pretty generic.  For some reason, bad guys would rather take over an established gang than just go out and recruit their own.  I'm not sure why that is.  It's not like there's ever a henchman shortage:






Hmmmm... apparently, in the room full of mobsters, Mr. Ego was the only one packing a firearm.  I'd like to see a similar scenario where a henchman sees his boss get gunned down by a new guy and then shoots the new guy.  Do criminals just not have ambition?  Is that the problem?

And I'm starting to notice a trend with Bulletman and Bulletgirl:


They lose their helmets a lot:


You'd think that a brilliant scientist who could invent an anti-gravity helmet would be able to see the practical value in a chin strap.  But then again, I'm no mechanical engineer.

Back to Mr. Ego:



I love his generous use of the Random Slap. (tm!)  Let's see it again!


Ahhhh... I loves me a good Random Slap! (tm!)

Now, back to that whole helmet issue:


Well, Bulletgirl is on the right track, but I'm really kind of hooked on the whole chin-strap thing.  Either they see a flaw in the concept of the chin strap that I'm just not visualizing, or they should give it a shot.

But alas, Mr. Ego was too cool for this planet:


Although we can't be sure he's dead.  As you know, in comics you aren't really dead unless you see a hand come up above the water and...


Oh.  Okay, he's dead.

And now, one of the worst wrap-up scenes ever:



Man, that police chief is dangerously unobservant if he has not idea who Bulletman and Bulletgirl are.

See you tomorrow!

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Superman Will Have Peace. Even if it Means Killing a Few Unarmed Men.


There will be many posts in which I say, "Superman is such a jerk."  But I will back it up with hard evidence.

I give you Exhibit "A":





It's pretty obvious that "or else" doesn't mean anything good, right?  So, Clark follows these guys right to their hideout:


And that's literally all Clark does.  He "keeps it in mind."  Does he keep an eye on these guys?  Does he keep an eye on the professor?  Nope.  He just "keeps it in mind."

And then:



First, "I'll be blowed" is an expression I don't think it going to catch on.  I think it's a variation on "well, blow me down," which is really only appropriate if you're Popeye the Sailor.  In any event, you will make people around you uncomfortable if you go around saying, "I'll be blowed," so please don't.

Secondly, way to let the guy get murdered, Clark!


Yeah, it's a shame you didn't see that coming.  You know, it's not like they threatened him with harm or anything.

Jerk.

But after being too wimpy to handle a few mobsters, Superham has no problem doing this:



Hey... Is that guy in the blue suit James Lipton?  I think it is!




So, Superman won't interfere with the activities of a murderous gang, but he'll threaten the lives of diplomats.


Hmmmmm... for someone who couldn't even handle a few mobsters, Superham is pretty quick to throw his weight around against guys who he knows won't fight back.

Superman is a jerk.

See you tomorrow!


Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Superman... Falling Faster than a Speeding Bullet!

I'm in the second issue of Superman, and it's going to be hard to tell exactly when we have the "first time" landmarks like heat vision, super breath, etc. because Action Comics was being published simultaneously and I'm not interested enough in Superham history to figure out which came first.

That being said, he's not flying yet.

This creates a couple of interesting situations.


Like accuracy:


And more importantly:


See?  Even if he gets you, he can only resist gravity for so long, so you're gonna hit the ground.  I appreciate that he "took the brunt of the shock" there, but it still looks like that was an awful landing for that guy.

And then this happened:


Okay.  That's fine.


That dropping pose looks okay.  I can live with that.

But then...


Hmmmm... not exactly the most majestic nabbing of a bad guy you'll ever see, but okay.  I guess.

And then this happened:


In the previous panel, Superham was behind the guy.  That means the above panel was after Superham crawled around the guy to hold him that way.  Can you imagine how silly that looked?  And the poor guy is so freaked out he's actually holding Superham because... well, what else do you do?

Anyway, there's a dignity problem there for the Man of Steel, so I would imagine we'll be seeing flying soon.

But what I really want to show you is this: 


Okay, Supes and this guy were having a verbal argument.  Supes got a little physical with him, but nothing awful.  Although, if push came to shove, Supes was clearly the aggressor and the guy in the jaunty purple plaid blazer was the victim.  The cop is clearly just investigating a minor skirmish.

And then proceeds to gun this guy down:


I'm not trying to "lawyerball" this blog, but exactly what justified the use of deadly force there?  Not a thing.  I'm just saying, you need to behave yourself in Metropolis, because they're not clowning around.

Monday, June 29, 2015

A Scientific Explanation of Superman's Amazing Strength! Sorta. For Now.


I know you can't enjoy a comic without having a plausible scientific explanation for superpowers and whatnot, so here's some 'splaining from Superman #1!:


What I find really interesting about this is that they used the concept of evolution.  They weren't created making these fantastic leaps and such.  Nope.  They evolved.

My fundamentalist parents would have pooped watermelons if they'd seen that.

And frankly, it makes no sense.  It's one thing if my muscles compensate for Earth's gravity, so I'm able to jump around on some other planet like that.  But why would my species evolve an ability not just to survive the gravity, but make huge leaps on Krypton itself?  That makes no sense.  I'm sorry if I'm coming across like Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons, but that simply makes no sense.  

No wonder the changed it to the whole "yellow sun affects him differently" explanation.  It's outlandish but at least that follows it's own made-up logic.

Moving on, it appears that Lois Lane wasn't the only terrible woman in Metropolis:




Hmmmm... I'm starting to think Mary didn't like Tommy Burke for his fabulous taste in sports jackets.

Here's another couple of funnies from Wayne Sallee!:


I want to know who won that contest and what their parents' reaction was when a pony showed up on their front porch.

And here's a head-scratcher:


I didn't do the math, but if they were that specific, I'm prepared to guess you had coupons worth $3.37 in that comic.  I could be a rube and falling for a con, but I just can't help but think that if they went to the trouble to do the math, it's probably a safe bet.  Although I guess wouldn't have been much trouble if you have one coupon for three bucks and another for thirty-seven cents.  But that's just me being cynical.

See you tomorrow!